HOW TO SUPPORT SOMEONE IN PAIN

HOW TO SUPPORT SOMEONE IN PAIN

In this Wisdom Wednesday, we are addressing something fundamental to life itself – how to support someone who is in pain. Recorded from my “hall of mirrors” we address the reflections we give to those who are close to us and who are in pain, whether it’s mental, emotional, physical or even spiritual pain.  When someone, especially someone we love, is in pain, our first thought is to try to help them get away from it.  We may try to fix it, to help them get distance from it or we will simply sympathize with them and take it on ourselves.

But none of this is truly supportive, and the person in pain can feel more frightened and alone than ever.  In order to really support someone – or to be supported ourselves if we are in pain – we have to come out of conflict with the pain itself.  Pain is not necessarily bad, or something that we need to “fix.”

​Pain is the body, or the mind warning us that something is out of alignment.  It is signaling a healing process that is either underway or that needs to happen.  To support someone in pain means to not make the pain wrong, but to help them take the ride with it.  Even as anger or deep fear or hopelessness might arise, support means witnessing more than it means fixing.  Helping is about reminding the person that you have their back in the process but that it is a process that needs to be lived and engaged with.